I'm totally cheating by doing a birthday entry after the fact and back-dating it to April 4th, but...I couldn't let the day go un-marked.
I called in "sick" on my birthday, slept a lot, read a lot, watched some Oprah shows that were on the TIVO, then went to the gym when G got home from work and capped it off with a lovely home-cooked meal. I didn't even TOUCH the computer...I just completely "off-lined" myself, and it was wUnderful!
It's sorta lame when birthdays fall on weekdays, eh? When I woke up yesterday, I said to G, "I'm not going to work on my Goddamn birthday!" And I'm glad I didn't, because then it would have been lame, rather than a refreshing "me day." G and I will be doing some real celebrating together this weekend, which I'm looking forward to.
G bought me the Gothic Bellydancing DVD for my birthday, which we watched last night. WOW, what an amazing source of inspiration. Really gorgeous costumes, music and set design - very high production value, and some AMAZING choreography! I will be dusting off my Bellydancing for Beginner's DVD for sure, and finishing up the routine I'd started learning. I'd like to incorporate some Gothic bellydancing into Corvo stage shows, especially to the songs like Fantomatique, which are mostly instrumental. That's the plan. We'll be filming a video for Fantomatique this year, so I will be designing some choreography to it for sure.
I'd always wanted to be a dancer, but had gotten it lodged into my brain that I was too short. With that stigma and my parents being too poor to give me proper lessons, it remained a fantasy that I've never stopped entertaining. Well, now that I'm learning bellydancing, my dream to be a dancer is very real. It's a wonderful dance for all body types, and incredibly intuitive - I love intuitive art. It's also great for curvy women like me...it's the perfect time NOW to start learning "dance," and bellydancing is perfect for ME.
Anyway, I spent much of yesterday in a very introspective state. My birthday is [to me] the start of a new year...I approach it with goals and reflection, which I don't really do during traditional New Year's because awards season fucks up any sense of introspection that I may WANT to have!
I'm doing something really, really revolutionary in my life right now. Part of me wants to blog about it, but then part of me is afraid to, because it's going to show some vulnerability and delve into some serious issues that I need to write about. To the few of you who do read this blog: Would it make you uncomfortable if I just delved into it and wrote about what I'm dealing with?
Part of me wants to keep this a "puff" blog and just post quizzes, rant and rave about politics and pop culture and post band updates...but the other part of me desperately needs it to be a deeper kind of place in which I explore myself and deal with some issues and healing....
How vulnerable do I want to [openly] be? I don't know. Then again, those of you who DO read this are my dearest friends, so I have nothing to hide from you. What are your thoughts?