Some good news for me got lost in all of the sadness this week.
On Tuesday, I was signed on as tvguide.com's
"official" blogger for Masters of Horror
and Ghost Whisperer
. It's not a raise or promotion, but great exposure and a high profile platform for me to get my "real" writing out there. The Battlestar Galactica entry from the other day
was my writing sample. The editorial director loved it, and welcomed me on-board immediately. I'd wanted to blog regularly about Galactica and Masters of Horror, but Galactica was already taken. I can still blog about it unofficially over there, which I'll probably do when I have the time.
My first Masters of Horror entry is posted today
, complete with a poll. Feel free to stop by and read it. I'd love for it to become a popular "underground" blog for tvguide.com. Let me know your thoughts, and visit me over there often, okay?
Labels: Masters of Horror, Official Blog, tvguide.com
Thanks so much for your comments yesterday, everyone... it is very comforting to receive thoughts and cyber hugs during such a difficult time...
I'm pretty much trading off hysterical crying with just feeling plain ol' numb. I really had a hard time vaccuuming around "his" area last night - the place in front of the couch where his bed was, where he laid at my feet every night and where we gathered around him during his final hours of consciousness. I had to stop. I know it isn't true and it probably sounds melodramatic, but I felt like I was sweeping "him" away... I wanted to see his hair tufts and I wanted to smell him... it seemed like a betrayal to clean up after him, but we needed to restore balance and order to things... for whatever reason, I had a really hard time doing that last night.
We only spent two hours at work, then G and I left. G treated us to dinner at Lanna Thai, which was SO medicinal. He also bought me Season 1 of The Addams Family on DVD, which we kept on through most of the evening, to cheer us. We also bought a plant in MacReady's honor. It's called a "Louisiana Red." We thought it would be a great choice because we always called him our "Big Red." Several years ago, G's mom had painted a wonderful porcelain husky statuette for us, and made it look like Macready's coloring... I don't think I could ever convey how grateful I was to have that last night. I put MacReady's collar around the statuette's neck, and put it in front of "his plant." We'll be adding a nice framed 8x10 photo of him, his "clay paw print" and a section of his favorite blanket into the shrine.
I've been trying so hard to replace the images of him drifting away with the images of him being cute, naughty and funny... but it's hard. The memory of their death is so clear and raw at first, and that's the hard part. I have had many moments of giggling since yesterday, though. That dog was such a character, and as the memories of putting him to sleep fade away, I can guarantee that much laughter and fun memories will take over and replace the pain.
Of course, the kitties knew that something was wrong, so they piled up on top of me and loved on me a lot. If we didn't have them, it would have been even more difficult to be home experiencing that void he's left. To say I miss him terribly is an understatement. I feel so empty without him. He was such a part of me, and it hurts like hell to lose him. But you know... it is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all. The love and affection between me and my pets is most definitely two-way... and my life is better for it, loss and all.
We had to put MacReady to sleep this morning. He was my first dog, and we fell madly in love with each other at first sight [just like how his daddy and I fell at first sight]. I am absolutely heart broken.
His cancer returned. We gave him a really happy extra year. He was in his mind, and left his decaying body in total peace. We all slept on the floor together last night, like a slumber party, and he died with me, G and his favorite blanket. He reached a comatose state at home, so he wasn't even aware of anything by the time we got to the vet, which was comforting, because his last coherent memory was at home with us.
The vet assistant does a sweet thing for pet owners. She's putting MacReady's paw print into clay for us, complete with his date of birth and death and his name. It'll be so nice to have that in loving memory of him. He was such a momma's boy, and I'll never, ever forget his blue eyes, his love of snuggling with me, his mischievous spirit, and the way he worked day in and day out to protect his pack. He was an amazing guy who loved his family so much, just as his family loved him.
The photo above was taken on a night when he and I had so much fun... it was 3AM, and we were laying on the floor together in the media room, just listening to music and snuggling. He really had a good run. Greg and I had promised him and each other that if the cancer returned, we wouldn't let it utterly destroy him, and we held to that promise, even though it was a very difficult.
Goodbye, my sweet boy. My Pooky Bear. I miss you already.
Oh great, I've found another addiction. It's called Squidoo. You'll just have to see it to understand it [if you don't know Squidoo].Click on this link and take a look at my Halloween lens
! There's videos, a "monster poll," lists of movie recommendations and "TV Scream Listings." It is WAY fun, and I'm WAY addicted. Take the poll and give me a "star rating," would ya? If you decide to set up a lens on any topics, let me know so that I can "lens roll" you!
Labels: Halloween, HalloweenLinks, HorrorMovies, HorrorMusic, HorrorTV, HorrorVideos, Squidoo
The fleet is going to hit the fan. They're reunited, no longer divided, and now this war has taken on dimensions that no one was prepared for. Is it any wonder that every Friday, I find myself wishing that Battlestar Galactica were eight hours long? I can hardly stand it when each episode reaches another jaw-dropping end; I want the show to continue for the rest of the weekend! Then again, the intensity and real-life parallels of the show could leave me a bit exhausted with that much exposure... I don't want to admit it, but I s'pose a weekly dose is all that I am emotionally prepared to handle. Oh Lord, it's hard to be a Galacticaddict!
Speaking of emotionally prepared, I have to say my biggest shock of this week's episode was watching Saul "put his wife to sleep." All along, my feelings towards Ellen Tigh have been similar to my feelings for Gaius Baltar. They're both characters that I love to hate and hate to love. At one time, I even thought that maybe Ellen was a cylon! She's obviously so toxic, especially to Saul, but at the same time, I can't help but empathize with her, because just enough of her humanity shows its face when least expected. That's one of the great things about this show's writing: these writers don't let us get comfortable with seeing the characters in black and white. The lines between hero and villain are often blurred, and a Science Fiction show becomes one of the most eloquent social commentaries one could ever be challenged with.
This was one of the few times that Ellen's toxic actions were seemingly motivated by love – at least, her selfish version of it. On the surface, I understood that in her warped mind, "she did it all for love," so I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. But when I "consider the Saul," it's obvious to me that he would have rather died in that prison than jeopardize The Resistance. Had Ellen really known her husband and felt true love for him, she would have chosen a different kind of sacrifice to help him. Maybe she would have taken up arms with The Resistance, rather than use her womanly assets as a weapon. Even though her acts seemed like love, it was a selfish, toxic version of it, and Saul had to do what he had to do for the survival of his species. To me, the whole scene when Saul cried for her, telling her "I love you, you know," was such a tangible one. Haven't most of us felt a deep love for somebody toxic to us? And haven't we felt a genuine sense of mourning and loss, even though severing ties with that person is ultimately best for us? I know I have.
Toxicity. Ugh. What a relief to see Starbuck stab that Leoben and this time, have a way out before that snake grew another new skin! That is one character that is not in the "gray area" for me. He is creepy, he is evil, and I wanted to take a shower after he forced Kara to "declare her love" and kiss him. Ew, yuck, ew. I’d had a feeling that when sweet little Casey "had fallen" down the stairs, that Leoben pushed her, and now I'm absolutely sure of it.
It was a huge surprise to find that Casey was not a cylon-Starbuck hybrid, but a stolen human. The look on Kara's face when Casey and her real mother reunited was heartbreaking and profound. The extent of Leoben's manipulation surprised even Kara, I believe, but so did Kara's newfound understanding of a mother's fierce love and protection. I believe that this knowledge will come in very handy for Starbuck as the war picks up intensity... and be a detriment to the cylons.
Three moments gave me the most goosebumps this episode:
[Every episode contains many of those moments].
1. Apollo finally growing back some space stones and taking his place as the Apollo we've all known, complete with disobeying orders and saving the mission, despite what "dad" told him to do. "I never could read your handwriting." So perfect.
2. Laura Roslin taking her command of the Presidential ship. She looks so graceful and dignified behind that desk.
3. Commander Adama's grin as he walked around, cleanly shaven, observing with proud serenity his reunited fleet getting back to work.
As the season continues, will all be fair in love and war? Some of the cylons are beginning to understand the concept of "love," and the fleet is back together. Will the cylons' reunion with Hera make them into a greater force than what the fleet is prepared to fight, or will love for this child throw the cylons off-guard and deeply change them? Will Gaius Baltar and Number Six betray the cylons, or stand even stronger on their side? Will Sharon betray The Fleet after learning that she was lied to about Hera's death? Will The Fleet want to fight for New Caprica, or decide to move on and find Earth? Will we see more of Richard "Zarek/Original Apollo" Hatch? [I hope so]! And finally, my biggest question: will this show ever get the Emmy and Golden Globe nominations that it so completely deserves?
Labels: Battlestar, BattlestarGalactica, Blog, Commentary, Galactica, Sci-Fi, Science Fiction, ScienceFiction, TV, TVBlog, TVCommentary