weblogUpdates.ping NiNi-Blog: Dreaming It, Living It, Bloggint It. http://nini-blog.blogspot.com/

[Q U O T E]
"Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one."
-Stella Adler

[R E C E N T]
[F E E D S]

Subscribe in Bloglines

Add to Google

Subscribe in FeedLounge

Add to Technorati Favorites

Feed Me!

I heart FeedBurner

[my M U S I C]
Buy the CD
click to order

@ MySpace
@ Pure Volume
Fantomatique Video

CORVO's on iTunes!

[L E N S]

NiNi Corvo's photos More of NiNi Corvo's photos

[A B O U T]
I'm NiNi, the lead vocalist of CORVO, and this is my personal blog [obviously, I'm an open book]!

I write a little bit about the band here, but mostly about personal and silly stuff. Although I don't blog about myself on the band's page, I don't mind if fans stumble upon this site and read it [if it's truly personal, it doesn't show up here].

The Flickr photo stream and the LastFM music feed drops many hints concerning the band's progress. Singing for CORVO and making art is my life's passion.

[Blogger Profile]
[My About Page

The current mood of NiNi at www.imood.com

[F I E N D S]

[M U S I C]

Android Lust
A Perfect Circle
The Birthday Massacre
Blues Explosion
David Bowie
Claire Voyant
Cradle of Filth
The Cure
Dimmu Borgir
Fantomas / Mike Patton / Tomahawk
Bryan Ferry
The Gathering
Lacuna Coil
Leaves' Eyes
Massive Attack
Loreena McKennitt
My Ruin
Nine Inch Nails [N I N]
Gary Numan
Popol Vuh
Porcupine Tree
Roxy Music
Claudio Simonetti [Goblin]
Siouxsie Sioux
Skinny Puppy
Strapping Young Lad
System Of A Down
Tapping The Vein
Type O Negative
Tom Waits
Rob Zombie

[F A V E S]
[A List in Progress]

[P A S T]
[C R E D I T S]
Drak Net

Design: Blogfrocks
Powered by Blogger
Photo: Intertia Stock x.Chng
Brushes: Tere-Art
26 October 2006
Feeling Pretty Raw
Thanks so much for your comments yesterday, everyone... it is very comforting to receive thoughts and cyber hugs during such a difficult time...

I'm pretty much trading off hysterical crying with just feeling plain ol' numb. I really had a hard time vaccuuming around "his" area last night - the place in front of the couch where his bed was, where he laid at my feet every night and where we gathered around him during his final hours of consciousness. I had to stop. I know it isn't true and it probably sounds melodramatic, but I felt like I was sweeping "him" away... I wanted to see his hair tufts and I wanted to smell him... it seemed like a betrayal to clean up after him, but we needed to restore balance and order to things... for whatever reason, I had a really hard time doing that last night.

We only spent two hours at work, then G and I left. G treated us to dinner at Lanna Thai, which was SO medicinal. He also bought me Season 1 of The Addams Family on DVD, which we kept on through most of the evening, to cheer us. We also bought a plant in MacReady's honor. It's called a "Louisiana Red." We thought it would be a great choice because we always called him our "Big Red." Several years ago, G's mom had painted a wonderful porcelain husky statuette for us, and made it look like Macready's coloring... I don't think I could ever convey how grateful I was to have that last night. I put MacReady's collar around the statuette's neck, and put it in front of "his plant." We'll be adding a nice framed 8x10 photo of him, his "clay paw print" and a section of his favorite blanket into the shrine.

I've been trying so hard to replace the images of him drifting away with the images of him being cute, naughty and funny... but it's hard. The memory of their death is so clear and raw at first, and that's the hard part. I have had many moments of giggling since yesterday, though. That dog was such a character, and as the memories of putting him to sleep fade away, I can guarantee that much laughter and fun memories will take over and replace the pain.

Of course, the kitties knew that something was wrong, so they piled up on top of me and loved on me a lot. If we didn't have them, it would have been even more difficult to be home experiencing that void he's left. To say I miss him terribly is an understatement. I feel so empty without him. He was such a part of me, and it hurts like hell to lose him. But you know... it is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all. The love and affection between me and my pets is most definitely two-way... and my life is better for it, loss and all.

      Webset Copyright © Blogfrocks
Photo Copyright © Intertia Stock x.Chng